It was a team building exercise when I was working at the school. It was a test to reveal our personality type. The goal, I assume, was to help us to understand not just ourselves a bit better, but the group of people we worked with. I was fairly confident of the results I was going to get...something about me being highly relational, emotional, sensitive. It was quite a shock when my results showed that I am predominantely analytical...and I mean predominantly, not slightly.
Synonyms for analytical include: cogent, conclusive, detailed, diagnostic, discrete, dissecting, explanatory, expository, inquiring, inquisitive, interpretive, investigative, judicious, logical, organized, penetrating, perceptive, perspicuous, precise, problem-solving, questioning, ratiocinative, rational, reasonably, scientific, searching, solid, sound, studious, subtle, systematic, testing, thorough, valid
My husband and daughters were not surprised at all. Especially not my husband. Do you see the word questioning in amongst that list above? Oh, I am a man's worst nightmare... A conversation between us might go something like this.
Me: "How was so and so when you met with them today?"
Him: "Fine."
Me: "Did you talk to them about ______?"
Him: "Uh huh."
Me: "And how did they respond?"
Him: "Good."
Me: "Did they seem _____?" This is where I want him to explain in me detail exactly what they said, tone of voice, facial expression, so I can analyze the situation.
So, due to this highly analytical nature of mine, I want to know what lies before me on the path of life so that I can be adequately prepared. This plan must make logical sense to me. (Which, I am finding out, is not always what makes logical sense to someone else.) Enter FEAR, when I don't see what something is going to look like, when the path before me is not clearly marked, when I am not sure of the variables in a situation...and of course, other people, are a big variable! Ann's blog today hit me where I live. I have been living in fear. I need to go to the One who alone sees the beginning and the end. The One whose footsteps need to mark the path I carefully follow. (see Psalms 85:13) The One who has kept me in the past, Who will keep me today, and Who is the safe place for all of my tomorrows.
Make Your path clear before me God. In all the unknowns of today and tomorrow, and all of the tomorrows to come, shine a light on Your footprints before me. Keep me on the right path at all times, the trail You have blazed for me to follow. You are the Great Constant in all the unknown variables that make up this life. You are The Rock that cannot be shaken. You are The Stronghold in which I trust. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. You are always Faithful and True. I renounce fear and embrace trust in You.
Hmmm...you're touching a nerve with me, too. I was just confessing last night to friends that I often make "knowing" into an idol. I'm also analytical, and like to know what's ahead, good or bad. So when I don't know, I get fearful. Thanks for your words of wisdom. I need more faith to trust that because GOD knows, that's enough for me.
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