We were married at the ripe old age of nineteen, which wasn’t all that uncommon back in the olden days…you know, the seventies. (The nineteen seventies that is.) Hubby went to college in the mornings, worked the evening shift at a factory, and was the church janitor and volunteer youth leader on the weekends. At the ripe old age of twenty I was a stay at home mama with a wee little brown eyed girl who had the biggest dimples you ever saw. We had one car. We lived in a city located between the town where the college was, and the town where the church we attended was. I had no car, and no friends who lived anywhere near by. Day after day, night after night it was just the baby and me. An exciting outing was putting the baby in a stroller and walking down to the corner gas station for a “Tab”. ( That was a Diet Coke type drink popular in the olden days.) I was lonely. I was cry yourself to sleep lonely. In all my 20 year old wisdom, I decided it was his fault. Once you got married you were never supposed to be lonely, right? Your spouse was responsible to meet all of your needs, right? So, I told hubby that we needed to go to our minister for counseling. I was looking forward to the pastor straightening that man of mine out.
On the day of our appointment, we sat in front of the pastor’s desk. I was all decked out in my indignant self-righteousness. When the pastor turned to me and asked me what I thought was wrong with us, I emphatically, accusatorially, said, “He is not meeting my needs. Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine.”
The pastor didn’t turn and correct my weary, overworked husband. To my surprise, he dared to correct me. It changed my life. It saved my life. He said, “If another human being could meet all of your needs, then you wouldn’t need God. That person would then become god to you. God will never let another person meet all of your needs. You need to use this opportunity to really get to know God, and let Him meet your needs.”
Not that I didn’t occasionally still have pity parties after that, but I began a journey. I began to really seek to know God. While hubby was at school, I made a nice meal for us to have before he headed off to his job. After he left for work, I would listen to Christian teaching on the radio, I would read and study my Bible, I would talk to God, I would sing, worship and pray as I fed or rocked the baby. I sought the Lord and He heard me. He began to fill me up as I went to Him with my loneliness. Month after month went by and that was my routine. While my husband was at work, I was mama, laundress, housekeeper, and God seeker.
One Sunday, a young couple began to attend church, with a cute little baby girl, just a couple of months younger than our baby. The husband was also a student by day, and worked evenings like my hubby. His wife and I became the best of friends. Many evenings, while our husbands were at work, I would go to her house or she would come to mine. Our babies became toddlers, and were as inseparable as siblings. To this day, I believe God sent me a wonderful friend as an answer to prayer. But first, He taught me the most important life lesson ever…nothing and no one can meet my needs, fill my emptiness, silence my loneliness, love me, like He can.
Still seeking, following, loving Him,
Elizabeth
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So nice post!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs I read this, through the tears, I am AMAZED at how much alike we are. I am so blessed that YOU are in my life!! XXOO
ReplyDeleteYour pastor's advice was right-on. It's taken me a long time to realize what he told you that day.
ReplyDeleteLoved your story here.
Wow. I am kind of amazed to read this. It is very similar to what I was implying at the end of my blog post today.
ReplyDeleteThanks for confirmation, sweet sister. :)
Thank you for sharing - this is SO important. I, too, as a young bride thought my dear pastor-husband wasn't meeting my needs. I had to learn that no one else can really fill those empty places of my soul! Love the photos. And thrilled at the amazing way God has of sending us friends when HE knows we're ready!
ReplyDelete~Adrienne~
These are such wise words that you share. How many times do we see that scene played out among young and old alike! You were blessed to learn the lesson early in your marriage. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSounds like my life. What a difference HE makes!!
ReplyDeletewow. words so painfully perfect. thankful for people who see and love enough to correct.
ReplyDeleteamy in peru
This is so simple and yet so profound a truth
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing!
that is exactly what I needed to read. God words that I needed to be reminded of. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBlessings