It’s our fault
We raised them to know
That they were not ours, not their own, but His
Bought with a Price beyond compare
We raised them with the words
“God has a special purpose and destiny for you”
We told them to obey Him no matter the cost
But this time last year
When all three of those precious girls,
Those miraculous, little, giggling, squabbling, beautiful, daughters of ours
Now grown women
Said God was calling them away from here
Why my heart shook like my mama’s holiday jello mold
Underneath the veneer of my jolly, holiday smile
And angry too, there was anger in me at Him
He really won’t relent until He has it all
This God with His heart full of fiery, jealous love
Won’t relent until all of my heart and all that my heart loves is given back to Him
So, yes, there was some anger in me at this relentless God
But I did relent, and in prayer I would lay them on the altar and give them to Him
Then days, or sometimes minutes, later
Untie them and clutch them to my heart
Now it’s a year later
And life does go on
With youngest daughter serving Him in Missouri
Middle daughter, son in law, and grandbabies
on the east coast preparing for their future work in Ghana, West Africa
Oldest daughter, son in law, and baby granddaughter leaving our church
To start their own church, but still in our city
Bless God! In our city!
This is the giving that costs
more than the time God asked us to empty our bank account
and trust Him to take care of us
This is my alabaster flask of precious perfume
Poured out for Him
This is the giving that asks me to trust Him to take care of them
To take care of me
They are the most wonderful gifts He ever gave us
Except that He gave me His Son… He gave His Son…He. Gave. His. Son.
And I constantly have to remind myself, that they are not mine, but His
Bought with a Price beyond compare
That His love for them is so much greater than mine
But still sometimes I cry
And still sometimes my heart shakes
Still following,
Elizabeth
Oh my friend, I understand. He doesn't ask something of us that He didn't do first - but we are still mothers with hearts tightly linked to our children. No matter how old; no matter what; no matter where. Praying for you and visualizing the smile on the Father's face as He looks at your daughters and sees their obedient hearts. You did well, my friend. Mission accomplished!
ReplyDelete~Adrienne~
Oh, this post scares me. The thought of my daughters moving far away is a sacrifice I need to be prepared to make one day, but it will be a hard one. Thankful for women like you who are walking this journey already and proving that God will provide...
ReplyDeleteHaving to let go of our children is very hard us Mama's to do. I had to let go of my youngest when they decided to move to Tampa, FL to be with her husband's father. That was very hard to let them go, but like you I had to give them back to God. Ah, but the rewards I have seen in them since they have left. God isn't finished yet, but when He is I believe what an awesome picture of change I will see! Hold on my sister in Christ we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!!!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you ended this. "'Still sometimes I cry." Not that I enjoy your sadness, but I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.
ReplyDeletewhen i saw the photo, i knew this would unsettle me. and it did -- it does.
ReplyDeletethank you for speaking Truth here.
I so understand the thing that you're saying here. It's my hardest obedience at times too. I have been giving a great deal of thought to Abraham and Issac and that altar lately. I feel called to a deep study of it. I think it's because my girls are at that age where I have to exercise that trust that I profess to have.
ReplyDeleteI'm in envy that your girls have all followed God's call. What a treasure to hold during the times that you wonder why that call couldn't have been just a little closer to home.
What a blessing your girls must be.
I loved this post.
Oh, those days are coming on fast; in fact, they are already here in some ways. God has been showing me in Romans 4:17 that He is calling them to His own plan, something I can't see now. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteHis love for them is so much greater than mine -- so true, yet so hard to fathom.
ReplyDeleteBeen there, felt that -- still feeling it.
Blessings on you and your faithful girls!
Ohhh . . . . it's so hard to remember these blessings are just on loan to us. I cannot imagine one of my children being so far away, and we are just entering the stage with our first one getting married next summer. Thank you for sharing your heart. It touched mine.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of blows in a short period of time! But it sounds like it has all handled well. And you have a great perspective on it.
ReplyDeletei try to prepare my heart for this for those days will come all too soon. thank you for sharing so honestly. :)
ReplyDeletethis is the 'heart and way of a mother'...
ReplyDeleteprecious words and mama's ahead of me I need to hear from...that the struggle's still real but we cling to truth and His fathomless heart that understands.
p.s. i think you would like this that i wrote and posted a couple of days ago "the way of mothers" http://findtheflametofan.blogspot.com/2010/11/way-of-mothers.html
:):):)
oh, i love how raw, how real this... that you still cry and shake and feel made, even though you raised them to follow him so, and what a testimony to his grace and your holy parenting, dear elizabeth. what a beautiful testimony, these three... i stare down at my son sleeping and pray he, too, follows with such abandon. (yet, please don't go!)
ReplyDeleteHe's dancing over YOU!! He's singing over YOU!! XXOO, Damaris
ReplyDeletei'm on this journey.
ReplyDeletejAne