I remember that season well.
Some people call it the dark night of the soul.
Some label it depression.
All I know is that I felt like I lived under a gray cloud,
that I was trapped in a bubble of gray which prevented the love of others from penetrating my heart.
I did what I knew to do, read the Bible, worshipped in spite of how I felt,
and I started walking.
Each day as I walked loops around the little community we lived in,
I'd talk to God and pour out all the gray, ugly feelings to Him.
I remember Him speaking to me out of the book of Matthew.
I read the words about how much He cared for me,
how if He was concerned about the sparrows,
how much more was His care and concern for me.
And then, day after day it seemed I would come upon a dead bird as I was on my walk.
Each time I did it was as if God was reminding me of these words.
It was the oddest thing, as almost daily there would be at least one dead bird
laying there in my path as I walked.
The light at the end of the tunnel came for me, and while I've certainly experienced hard times,
times of discouragement, I've never been in an extended period of depression like that since.
Yet, God used what He allowed me to go through to teach me many things.
I've never forgotten how He even used those birds to speak to me.
still following,
I've gone through a few seasons like this in my life. It's comforting to know that He knows me, intimately, and cares for me so deeply that He will never let me fall, despite how I feel. Thanks for linking up. Have a beautiful weekend!
ReplyDeleteBless you, friend! You are such a blessing to me!
DeleteDear Elizabeth
ReplyDeleteOh, our Lord knows our hearts and is nearer to us than we are to ourselves. He knows exactly what we need every single moment of our walk with Him. And He owns the whole creation to teach us with whatever means He chooses. Trials and tribulations are downright difficult, but what joy to pour our hearts to our GodM
Blessings XX
Mia
I love what you said, that God is nearer than we are to ourselves!
DeleteThanks for sharing this. I have people near and dear to my heart who have suffered with depression most of their adult lives. It impacts the whole family. I'm glad you're "out of the tunnel," as it can surely be a long one.
ReplyDeleteDayle, I think God allowed me to go through the dark tunnel of depression for a season so He could show me and teach me some of the "treasures" found in the dark times, and also, so He could prepare me to minister to others who suffer with depression.
DeleteIt is a favorite scripture of mine as well. Thank you for the reminder and of how the Lord ministered to you during your dark time.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you popped in and left your kind comment!
DeleteHi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this part of your walk with God. It is wonderful how He talks to us and teaches us about Him through the experiences we go through. I find it so amazing how He knows and cares about absolutely everything.
Blessings,
<><
You are so right, and the ways He speaks to us are so many.
DeleteWhat a unique way for the Lord to reinforce His concern & care for you, Elizabeth! I notice that it was while you were doing "your part" - walking, reading, worshiping, etc.
ReplyDeleteI never thought of it that way, but you are right, Rebecca!
DeleteIt's amazing how going for walks opens our eyes and hearts to receive all the grace God is pouring out continuously. A way to quiet our spirit; to be still and rest in Him; to hunt for his mercies that are new every morning.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, Rebekah! I find if I don't stay diligent in my walking, my whole mood goes downhill!
Delete'His eye is on the sparrow - and I KNOW He cares for me!'
ReplyDelete~Adrienne~
I love that old song!
DeleteThank you Elizabeth for sharing from your heart. God is good & faithful. Blessings~
ReplyDeleteHe really is so good and so faithful!
DeleteI love your gentle heart towards The Lord. What an encouragement you have been to me through your words. XXOO
ReplyDeleteLove you bunches, friend!
DeleteThis weekend while driving to and from St. Louis I saw so many "millions" of birds, flying around and about, usually very small. But I did love it. AND I always think of those verses re: birds. I know He can love them, care for them... and He'll do it for/to us, too. Glad you did well. I understand so much of what you go through.
ReplyDeleteBlessings....
I understand. XOXXO Me too.
ReplyDelete