Weary with a side of the blues...

I've always been a person who feels things deeply.

Perhaps I'm a bit too sensitive, too tender hearted for my own good.

Sometimes I wish that things didn't affect me so much,

that like water running off a duck's back, 

I could more easily let things go.

I know, however, that God made me this way for a purpose.

God uses this part of my personality to help me to empathize with others

 I also get the pleasure of feeling joy in the same big way that I feel sorrow and pain.

It can be exhausting to feel so deeply.

Especially, when you're in the ministry and you are faced daily with seeing people you deeply care about go through personal struggles of one kind or another.

This is where I've been lately, 

weary with a side of the blues.

I woke up this morning telling God exactly what I was feeling.

I've been trying to remember to verbalize the words,

"I trust You, God with..." naming each person, every situation that is heavy on my heart.

It's a good reminder that the burdens rest on His shoulders, not mine.

Tonight I'm going to bed weary,

but it's the normal weary that comes from a busy, full day.

Sometime between this morning and tonight the blues have lifted.

Here's what I believe helped.

-being honest

God already knows what I'm going through, what I'm thinking, and what I'm feeling,

but there's freedom for me in being gut level honest before Him and getting it all out.

-taking time in the Word

Today was busy.  

It's tempting to just get up and start tackling the to-dos,

but things always go better when I take time with God first and ask Him to order my day.

-going on a walk or run

Exercise is stress relieving.  

It's even more stress relieving when I talk to God while I'm walking and running.

-doing something for someone else

This is the thing that really blessed me today.

I have been wanting to get together with one of the young, single mothers 

at our church just to check up on how she's doing.

Typically I would have her come by the church or meet her somewhere for coffee,

but for some reason I decided to invite her over to our home for dinner.

There was something healing, almost meditative, 

as I went about the meal preparations in the quiet of the house all to myself.

I think it was then that I started to feel the familiar feeling that I know more typically

 when I'm praying for someone or counseling with them.

I've heard it called "the divine flow", 

when suddenly you know it's not just you doing it anymore, 

but you're being the channel of God's love.

Somewhere between setting the table,

and mashing the potatoes and stirring the gravy,

it stopped being me working and started being Him loving through me.

And that made all the difference.

She loved the meal, and we loved the fact that she felt so at home that we sat in our living room 

chatting together til late in the evening.

She was blessed, but I do believe that I was blessed even more.

 I'd forgotten that when I open up to God and yield to being the channel for His love

all the other stuff, all the stress, all the weariness, even the blues,

they roll right off just like water off a duck's back.

still following,

     

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