Perhaps, I was just born with a leaky love bucket. Some of my earliest memories are of inner loneliness and longing for loving words and touches from my Mama and Daddy. I would day dream scenarios of Mama lovingly fussing over me or of me finding a little note written to me by my Daddy. I was the second from the last child in a family of seven kids and Mama and Daddy did their best. But, my heart just couldn't seem to get enough love and I couldn't seem to retain the love that I was given.
My husband and I married young, the first summer after our freshman year of college. I subconsciously thought that he was the answer to my inner loneliness and longing for love. We were married less than two years when we ended up in our pastor's office for marriage counseling. In my opinion, he was failing as a husband. He wasn't filling up my love bucket and wasn't that his job? I was hoping that our pastor would straighten him out. What actually happened was like a splash of cold water in my face, but it was a life changing moment for me. The pastor told me that my husband would never be able to meet all of needs. He said that no human would be able to fulfill all of the longings of my heart. He explained that if another human could do that, then that person would, in essence, become god to me. He encouraged me to go on my own spiritual journey to discover the love of God, to find out what it meant to have a deep and intimate friendship with the Creator of the universe. And so I did. (Join me for the rest of this post on Sunday, March 19th, at Woman to Woman Ministries where each Sunday I share a bit of Sunday Soul Food!)
My husband and I married young, the first summer after our freshman year of college. I subconsciously thought that he was the answer to my inner loneliness and longing for love. We were married less than two years when we ended up in our pastor's office for marriage counseling. In my opinion, he was failing as a husband. He wasn't filling up my love bucket and wasn't that his job? I was hoping that our pastor would straighten him out. What actually happened was like a splash of cold water in my face, but it was a life changing moment for me. The pastor told me that my husband would never be able to meet all of needs. He said that no human would be able to fulfill all of the longings of my heart. He explained that if another human could do that, then that person would, in essence, become god to me. He encouraged me to go on my own spiritual journey to discover the love of God, to find out what it meant to have a deep and intimate friendship with the Creator of the universe. And so I did. (Join me for the rest of this post on Sunday, March 19th, at Woman to Woman Ministries where each Sunday I share a bit of Sunday Soul Food!)
still following,
Thanks for sharing today on the #sundaythoughts link up at http://mom-gene.com! I think you're right...so many couples believe that significant other will fill the bucket. It takes years to realize that it doesn't come from there.
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful that our pastor told me the truth early on in our marriage! Thank you for the link up each week. I've been unable to add a comment to your blog unfortunately. I'm not sure why.
DeleteIt's amazing how we realize that only God can fulfill our deepest needs!
ReplyDeleteIt's life changing when we accept that fact and decide to pursue God as our source.
DeleteI think that's a common problem in young marriages. If only we would each turn to God first for love! Such a beautiful image with this verse.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's a common problem and so important to learn early on in our marriage.
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