I wasn't very old when my youthful idealism and sensitive spirit collided with the ugly reality of this imperfect world-loud, sometimes violent, arguments, Mama's depression and stay in the mental hospital, Daddy's affair and decision to leave Mama and us kids. I coped by frequently escaping into the perfect world I built in my imagination. In my mind I fashioned a perfect little house and a perfect little family-my dream of what life would be like when I grew up.
It was our freshman year of college. I fell in love with his icy blue eyes, that dimple that only shows up when he's caught off guard smiling or laughing, and his singing voice. We got married the following summer. But, our life and marriage was nothing like I had dreamed it would be! Still in college, we lived in a small, furnished apartment, not the cozy cottage of my imagination. We were opposites from each other in so many ways, except for our common trait that we both had strong opinions that we very stubbornly clung to, butting heads frequently in our willfulness. The perfect life I had dreamed of was not to be. It took me a long, long time to let go of my perfectionist ideals, to accept the life I had, and to see how blessed I was in the middle of my life's messy imperfection.
I still lean towards being an idealist. I'm still shocked when betrayed by a friend, when a church leader fails, when I see the awful things people say to one another on social media, when I watch horrific things on the news. Perhaps the idealist tendency is in many of us. Perhaps it's because something in us knows that this sin twisted world wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be perfect, sinless, unmarred. (Join me for the rest of this post on Sunday, January 13th, at Woman to Woman Ministries where each Sunday I share a bit of Sunday Soul Food!)
still following,
I've learned that my vision of perfect doesn't always line up with what God is working to perfect IN me. I'd rather have HIS perfect than mine, but it's hard to let go of my ideals.
ReplyDeleteI totally get that! Praise God that He is working to perfect us in the midst of our imperfect life!
DeleteWhile our idealism is rarely met and satisfied here on earth, it's the hope of something better that I hold on to and continue to embrace!
ReplyDeleteThankful for the future and hope we have in Jesus!
DeleteComforting message, Elizabeth! I have been shocked by people in life -- and 2018 may have been the most shocking! I'm hoping for a better year! Even if it isn't, I too am putting my hope in my Lord and not man. His ways are definitely higher than ours. He is completely worthy of my trust. He is safe. He is my refuge. So thankful for these truths!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Amy! I pray that 2019 is a great year in God for you!
ReplyDelete